ULUSABA

Ulusaba, an invitation to an exclusive private game reserve was once in a lifetime experience. This was an opportunity for exploration, business and pleasure. Business being the key word for my better half!

Here we were, after a long and pleasant flight, at Rock Lodge, Ulusaba, with spectacular views across the plains. We had been on several safaris before but this one was unique, in more ways than one!

Safaris conjure up images of danger, lions, tigers, cheetahs, all ready to pounce for their next meal. But we drove around in open top jeeps, and sat within metres of the BIG 5 - they ignored us whilst we sat in awe of them! This was a pharmacists convention - animals have choices too!

The business brains of Britain were in our jeep and enthusiasm was in abundance. Cameras ready, we stopped to listen to the jungle noises, when someone whispered, 'Listen, to this unique sound, never heard it before, shhhhhhh'
The ranger broke the silence and bubble by telling us that the 'unique' sound was the engine noise!!

That did not hinder the wannabee Attenboroughs in our jeep.
'Look over there, it's a huge elephant' piped the other.
Ranger rushed over, jeep trudged over the small rocks, bushes, shrubs to find the 'huge' ROCK!

Now this does not mean that we did not encounter any elephants. We saw an angry herd making threatening noises towards the other jeep. We poised ready to film the action, making plans to put it on 'YouTube'! Having said that, we did consider radioing in for help for a split second!

Leaving the dispersed herd of elephants, we set off to find leopards and lions. Huddled under warm ponchos and a hot water bottle we scanned the landscape to spot the 'real game'. Then the unthinkable happened. The silence of the wilderness was shattered with a piercing scream from one of the members from our jeep. With shaking limbs and thumping hearts we turned around to witness Navin battling for his life, arms thrashing, fighting to emerge from under his attacker. We watched as he battled on and triumphantly threw this thing off him. Thunderous applause from all of us, as Navin was declared the 'Badshah' - king of the jungle. Textbooks would be rewritten, film deals were bound to follow, we dreamed on as Navin basked in all the glory. Fighting a 'TWIG' is no mean feat!

Needless to say, the hero of the jungle was ecstatic and keen to show off his skills for the rest of the trip. Unfortunately, a severe bout of hayfever hindered him but his spirits were not dampened. Of course, being a pharmacists convention, there were plenty of anti histamines available, but nothing worked. Determined to get our king better, we asked if there were any local remedies that would help. Our ranger gave us his secret, and hayfever, what's hayfever? The remedy was instantaneous, the cure a little smelly but effective. Breathe in the fumes from the elephants' dung!

As I mentioned earlier, we had the best of the British entrepreneurs with us, and pound signs lit up in their eyes. Navin was jubilant, he would be the 'KING' of the universe! 'Navityn' was going to be the world leader leaving 'clarityn' as a relic of the past! He upgraded to first class as we headed back home. No more club class for the founder of worlds fastest acting hayfever remedy, NAVITYN! I watched and learnt!

I heard rumours that Johannesburg Duty Free Diamond retailers are sponsoring the next trip, as they had a very lucrative hour whilst we waited for our flight home.
Did I just say Diamonds? Why did I only bring back muffins? Time to make that specsavers appointment!!